I am one of the few people, who has always, with the exception of two difficult years of my life, known the direction I am meant to go. Though I knew I was supposed to pursue writing, I never knew how my journalistic abilities were going to help the world. “Work for Vogue,” people would say, as clearly I am a girly-girl and would not know much outside of the fashion and feminine realm.
Recently I have discovered where I am going and my intentions. The stereotypes of my typical disposition, style, attitude, favorite color, and even my blond hair have bogged me down for years. Constantly battling with whether to wear my pink sweaters and dresses, knowing others would perceive me as “just another blond girl who cannot hold intellectual conversations,” or to change who I am so people would see me for what is beyond their vision. I chose to stay me, pink, cutesy, blond and even flirty. Despite these things I do not hold true to the stereotype.
These past few weeks I have not been so well. I was having issues balancing my life, and trying to figure out my plans for this summer, next year, and how I was going to better myself for what came after college. Then I hit a wall. I was putting enthusiasm and time in to all these application processes for various jobs, activities, and internships to repeatedly here, “we regret to inform you.” The first one did not hurt, the second one was just frustrating, and the third one made me flustered and perplexed.
Another realization hit me, this is not what I want. I am tired of putting myself out there for the opportunities that are not going to push me, make me progress, or support me. My ambitions are too many to list, my hopes and goals to detailed to explain; but, I can tell you that I have high expectations for myself. These expectations are rarely reached as every time I get close, I lose focus or raise the bar another level just because I know I won’t reach. These expectations have helped me though, as I have come to understand that I need to be me above all else.
My main focus behind this blog is that I am about to make some changes in order to go on an adventure. While like my future, I am not sure what this adventure is, but I know where it starts. I am going to finish my next 2 years and four weeks of college with as much experience as possible. I am going to write everything, learn as much as I possibly can about journalism, media, communication, and political science. Understanding these concepts will hopefully put me in a position to advocate and fight for those without a voice, or to make the voices of those who have suggestions that promote humanity louder, and amplify the good hearts and causes throughout the world.
This is what I want to do, this is going to be my future. I will keep you updated with what I am doing, causes to look in to, and people who are trying to make a difference.
